Anyway, we are getting distracted…You might be surprised at the number of tips we’ve included here on annoying your fellow travelers.
Let’s get started on your training.
If you really want to become the world’s worst hostel guest, you’ve got some serious work to do before your trip! Keep in mind that if anyone objects to these behaviors, they are the problem, not you.
(Before we start, we should be clear that this post is definitely NOT intended to be serious. Please don’t do any of these things! Be nice to other guests and the hostel staff).
1. “You smell different, when you’re awake” – being creepy
We were sitting at the table one morning enjoying toast and coffee, when another hostel-mate joined us. We start chatting, and at one point he shared his way to creep out other hostel guests for fun.
“Are you wearing your red bra today, or the white one?”
“You smell different, when you’re awake”
“What did you mom mean with the last text?”
2. “Borrow” other people’s food, toiletries, etc.
You know the rule of thumb: if it’s not yours, don’t use it. But hey, that’s just a guideline, and it definitely doesn’t apply to you.
People leave things behind in hostels for everyone else to use anyway. If it’s not labeled, it must be free. You’re really hungry, and those leftovers in the communal fridge are calling your name. If somebody really wanted them, they would have eaten them by now…
Anyway, most people who stay in hostels are generous. They would have shared their food if you’d asked, so why go to the trouble? They probably won’t even notice it’s gone.
Oooh, is that a laptop left unattended? You’ve always wanted a Mac, haven’t you?
4. Move other people’s stuff to make space for yours
You love being prepared. That’s why you’ve stuffed your suitcase to the brim with everything you could possibly need on this trip.
It’s not your fellow hostel guests’ fault that they’re just not as organized as you – but it is their fault that they took the biggest locker to stick their backpack in. You should move it to a smaller bin for them. After all, you really need the space.
People just don’t understand what a burden it is to be so prepared. They’ll thank you for it later, you know.
5. Take up all the locker space
You have a lot of luggage, so it’s just as well there are lots of lockers in here!
It’s a good idea to get to them first before anyone else gets a chance to put their stuff in there. The early bird gets the worm indeed.
6. Throw your stuff all over the room
Go on, make yourself right at home. You’re paying for this, so it really is your home for a few days. Spread out and get comfy!
Pro tip: lay out your clothes all over the other beds so you can easily see your outfit options for the day. They won’t get wrinkled that way either.
That is, unless somebody inconsiderately decides they want to sleep in their bed and throws your clothes on the floor to make room for themselves. People can be so rude.
7. Ignore any and all hostel rules
You know what they say – rules were made to be broken.
That goes double for when you’re on vacation! On that note, ignore any and all local customs too!
You’re only passing through, so there’s no need to try to pick up on any local cultural habits or customs. It would only be a waste of time! You can really go for gold here and start complaining about them too.
Have to wear slippers inside your hostel in Thailand? Who even does that?
8. Use the entire kitchen to cook an elaborate meal
Staying in a hostel is great, because you have access to a kitchen.
You might as well make good use of it. Go to a local market, stock up on ingredients, and spend the next few hours cooking up a storm. Try to use as many of the pots and pans as you can.
Don’t limit yourself here.
After all that hard work, you definitely won’t be sharing your tasty results with anyone. You’ve earned this!
9. Afterwards, don’t wash any of your dishes
Wow, gourmet cooking really takes it out of you, doesn’t it? You can just leave those dishes in the sink for tomorrow…or never.
And hey, isn’t that what the staff team is paid for?
10. Play your personal music collection at top volume
You’ve got great taste in music, and doesn’t everyone love a good playlist? Bring out your speakers and pump up the volume for all to hear.
An alternative if you’ve forgotten your speakers: enjoy loud conversations on your phone at any given opportunity. Your sparkling conversation has a whole new audience in your fellow hostel guests!
11. “Forget” to wear pajamas
Your body is basically a gift to the world. Other hostel-goers will be able to appreciate it even more when it’s stark naked.
12. Think you’re in a hotel
It only takes one letter to get from “hotel” to “hostel”, so they’re probably basically the same thing. Right?
Remember, a hostel is for sharing, to meet, mingle, say hi. Do not be a stranger.
13. Get crazy drunk and make a mess
When you do make that mess, make 100% sure it’s definitely not on your stuff. This one only really counts if you turn somebody else’s belongings into a biohazard zone!
For true overachievers, you can get bonus points for losing your keys in your drunken haze.
14. Make as much noise as possible while other people are asleep
When you finally get into your shared room after an all-night party, make sure to slam the door as hard as you can to let everyone know you’ve arrived.
Then, have a good rustle around in your bags to check that every last one of your belongings is still in place. Alternately, you could have a loud conversation with your friends about a highly important topic.
When you finally do go to sleep, ensure that you’re in a sleeping position that will maximize your snoring potential. Zzzz!
15. Bring a really noisy alarm clock
You snooze, you lose – and when you’re traveling, snoozing equals losing out on seeing the coolest sights in the city. By waking up extra early, you’re making sure you’ll get to see all of the best stuff there is here.
You’re actually doing everyone else a favor by setting your alarm clock so early. This way they’ll be awake to go sightseeing too!
16. Use the snooze-function
Good luck with that one! If you want to create some real hatred, just use the snooze button over and over again. For sure, at one point someone in the dorm will start talking to you. Maybe that one counts for being social? Not sure, but hey, you interacted!
17. Make zero effort to be social
You’ll never see these people again!
The only exception – if you’ve traveled a lot, make sure to let everybody know just how incredibly worldly and experienced you are. They could learn a lot from you if they bothered to listen.
18. Take forever in the shower
Cleanliness is next to godliness. Take your sweet time in the shower to get as heavenly clean as possible.
Water saving just isn’t your priority when you wish you wash your hair, shave your legs and have a jolly good sing song.
19. Or just decide not to shower at all
Either extreme works, so pick which one works best for you.
20. Be the worst snorer ever (or get a Snorm)
Alright, to be fair, snoring can be a health issue.
However, it is so annoying for everyone else in the room. So always remember to bring ear plugs. Here is the list for your hostel packing list, you’ll need it!
And in case you are a snorer, well, then please read this: get a private room!
We read in many forums or facebook groups “is it okay to sleep in a dorm when I snore?”
The answer is: NO! This is not okay.
It is a pity for you since you have to pay more in accommodation. But when you clearly know that you snore like a chainsaw, it is not okay to put this on others.
There is also the idea of having a dorm for snoring people only. We call it: The SNORM!
Pass it on!
21. Be an a**hole
This might be a bit generic, but for sure you have met a person in your life you would call that name.
There are 3 steps to become an a**hole, so it is quite simple:
Everybody has met this person who annoyed the crap out of you, took something from you and so on. At one of my first hostel stays ever, someone stole my socks from my shoes…weird and I could not care less. Still…weird.
Anyhow, since everyone has a story, we kept #22 open – for you! We would love love love your #22 in the comments section. Write up who annoyed you most and why. The winner receives a virtual high-five – and depending on the story, a virtual hug!
Wrap it up
We hope that this guide has helped you figure out some helpful tips for how to be the worst hostel guest ever.
We hope you don’t do any of these things. Have fun on your travels, but remember not to let your fun get in the way of your fellow travelers’ good times too.
And we really hope that you don’t run into these terrible hostel guests on your next trip!