Here is a top 17 list of things you do not need to know.
These are the travel tips you will never ever need. Or, maybe you will need to avoid them.
Only in town for the weekend? Make sure you read the 7 worst travel tips for a weekend trip.
At the end of this article we include a few handy information on how to find good travel tips.
Bloggers share their best advice to find hidden gems and a few guides.
1. Stay in your accommodation, everywhere else is dangerous
You do not know the city, you do not know the people.
The best you can do is staying at your accommodation (hopefully not a Hostel, see #2) and wait until this trip is over. But please do not forget point #7 – your friends at home need to see that you have actually been abroad.
Remember: No photo = no proof.
2. Never stay at Hostels
There are people from around the world and the atmosphere is annoying. Those people in the hostel usually wanna talk to you, and try to get in contact with you – there is nothing more annoying than this.
Plus, you may not have your very own bathroom like you do at home. Home is anyway better, right?! Sharing with other people is so annoying.
Get an idea of all the hostel room types out there.
Without any irony: Here is a list of 5 Star Hostels you will love – the most awesome Hostels in the world!
You will probably believe most of these places are actually hostels.
3. Eat Next to the most Famous Building in Town
Fancy designed Restaurants located next to the most famous buildings in your destination are usually there for a reason: Fair price, local people, and delicious food.
Read: 22 restaurants to eat in Venice on a budget
4. Always book 366 days in advance
Most of the time everything is way cheaper when you book more than 1 year in advance, or even longer. Because traveling is about planning and not actually experiencing…
5. Never try Street food
Street food all around the world is dangerous and can kill you.
Do not trust any street vendors except they are from your very own country.
Fun note: We met two young girls in a cool hostel in Chiang Mai.
They didn’t try any street food, they were scared. We convinced them, they joined us, and they completely love it now!
6. Always order a beer/ wine you know
No one else is brewing beer/ making wine better than your own country and this is a fact.
Ask the waiter or bar tender if they offer any drink from your own country. It may be more expensive (~47%) but it’s worth it.
They even put warning signals on glasses: “AWFUL TASTELESS CRAP”
“Here at Galway Bay Brewery, it makes us feel AWFUL that so many people out there are forced to drink TASTELESS and bland beer. So we decided we would cut the CRAP and carefully hand-craft our beer for flavor.”
Read: the 3 best hostels in Dublin, Ireland
7. Take at least 374 photos of the most famous building in town
You paid so much money to get to your destination so you should make sure you are taking good photos.
You know, for showing your friends at home.
You should try to take a photo by laying down on the bottom to get the full church from an interesting angle.
8. Video tape everything you can
When you are at home you want to experience your experience again to have a deeper experience of your experience.
9. Just use the tourist buses and transport for tourists
Tourist transport is usually 12 times more expensive but it’s absolutely worth it.
Nobody wants to use the public transport the regular people use. Furthermore, you should avoid renting a car. Every other person in this world drives like a crazy monkey.
10. Update Facebook with your Travel Photos
There is a certain rule of updating your status on your social media channels when traveling. Here is a small guide on how to act correctly when traveling:
Here is what you need to upload to Social Media – the ULTIMATE guide:
- Before you actually travel, post a mysterious sentence such as “yeah, travel plans are done“, or “Can’t wait to get on the plane“. This way you can be sure your
friendsFacebook-Buddies will actually write a comment and ask where you travel. Always keep the interaction-rate in mind.
- Upload at least 17 photos for each 8,5 days of food you ordered. Make sure you take that much photos that it’s already cold when you wanna start eating. Maybe you can give it back to heat it up again in the microwave? Just ask your waiter.
- Upload 36 photos to Instagram for every two days you travel. It is easy and you can even connect it to facebook as well. The vintage filters make you look even cooler.
- 735 Check In’s on FourSquare for a total trip or 28 Check-Ins per Day – this is up to you and whatever you feel comfortable with.
You can follow us as well on Instagram… just saying!
11. Choose a Free-WFi Restaurant
At the end of the day, every Restaurant is the same: Some food and some drinks.
Make sure you to pick your restaurant wisely by checking their specials. Free WiFi connection is nowadays standard (except at your hotel – Free WiFi for just 10€ a day) and this way you can get #10 done.
12. Never Pay any street artist, take photos nevertheless
Street artists are getting paid the city council anyway, right?
And even if not, there are enough other tourists that should pay him. Make sure you spent your money wisely on a semi-delicious overpriced dish close to the most famous building in town (see #3).
We took this photo in Paris; oh and we gave the street artist a few EUR.
PLEASE remember: this post is pure sarcasm! Please be fair and pay street artists in case you’d like to take a photo! It doesn’t have to be a lot, but be fair, come on!
13. Put Love Locks on every bridge you see
What symbolizes more love than a lock?
On your travels you should put a love lock on as many bridges as you see. Make sure you bring enough love locks with you. It might be expensive but it is worth it.
This is actually the reason why Paris and Venice are expensive destinations to visit – but hey, it’s purely romantic.
14. Play with the Pigeons
A lot of cities
have offer pigeons-hotspots like main squares or in front of churches.
Forget the fact that you can get several diseases from playing with Pigeons.
It’s more important to enjoy the moment between 8.517 pigeons, to feed them, and take photos with them. At home you may not have the opportunity to feed them all at once.
And if you are lucky enough, you may even have the chance to put a Pigeon on your head – how lovely is that?
15. Be the Influencer (everyone hates)
DO IT FOR THE GRAM!
That is the motto of a whole generation now. You have to take the craziest photos in 37 different outfits and then put it casually on instagram.
Remember to use hashtags like #iwokeuplikethat or #justchilling.
And of course, you should feel miserable if you do not get to at least 1000 likes. Because after all, you should feel glorious, and traveling is about making other people feel miserable of their own life.
True story: We were sitting in one of our favorite cafés in Ubud, Bali, when a group of Instagram Influencer came along with their organized tour. It was 8 girls and boys with A LOT OF FOLLOWERS.
They took the most acrobatic photos you’ve ever seen of the infamous colorful fruit bowl, the cafés, and so on.
And after probably around 8676 photos, they left – WITHOUT even tasting the fruit bowl. That was kind of mind blowing. We checked later instagram and found these influencers stating how tasty it was and “best fruit bowl ever” etc.
Conclusion: get out there and do your stuff, do not look on Instagram!
Read: best instagram captions to use for your own photos
16. Complain when nobody speaks English
Another popular item for your bucket list of annoying traveler habits: Complain when nobody speaks English; but big time!
You traveled half way around the world to get a proper cultural experience. So the least you can expect is the people to speak English. Right?
If that is not the case, then complain like there is no tomorrow.
17. Start all sentences with “in my country…“
When you travel the world, it is important to compare EVERYTHING to your own country. And then make it sound like your country is better anyways.
People appreciate this!
And while you are on it, you can also continue to educate people on your perspective on history. It could be anything from Second World War, or the Vietnam/ American War…
It is important to keep your strong believes that YOU are right, and no one else does. After all, that is what you have been taught all your life. So why should you let go?!
Summary of the Worst Travel Tips
You see, the world is full off danger and odd things, not worth it to check out anyway. Always remember, your own country is the best in everything anyway. So, what’s the point of going out there and explore?!
Find the 10 most common backpacker mistakes here.
How to find great travel tips?
Of course there is many ways to find decent and solid travel information. The best resources we found are still:
- Asking friend who’ve been there already
- cool travel blogs
A hostel is also a great place to getting your plan started. Often you find people who just got back from that area/ city/ island.
Ask, socialize, interact.
We also asked 12 bloggers to share their best secret to find hidden gems.
Read the full article about how bloggers find great travel tips here.
For instance, you can hunt down the local record store. Another great tip is using Foursquare.
Of course, the classics like Lonely Planet is always a good idea.
Yet, keep in mind: you are not the only one using Lonely Planet. The places mentioned in Lonely Planet are (most likely) already touristic. However, it is a really great resource to find information and to get started.
Personally, I do not travel with Lonely Planet guides since I like to travel light. But, I always read them in hostels, when available.
Our own Guides
Here at Hostelgeeks we started our own guides, collecting hidden gems and a few secrets spots we, users or our writers found and cherished. You can find our travel guides here – hopefully bs-free – and loaded with serious recommendations you mostly likely do not find anywhere else.
Find the worlds best hostels here, the 5 Star Hostels.
What’s the worst travel advice you’ve ever received?
Tell us, we are curious hearing your experiences!
This post is 100% ironic, please remember!
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